June 23, 2008

Little Porch of Horrors

We have a plant. A giant plant. And it is trying to eat us.

Here’s what we arrived to on Thursday night:

The wisteria in the front of our house is attempting to take over. And, it is winning.

It’s important to note that we trimmed this bad boy back BIG time about three weeks ago. Filled a huge trash bin with branches. I wonder if it’s like that old wive’s tale about shaving your legs – shave one hair and three grow back in it’s place? Except this tale is for real, y’all.

For more evidence of the destructive persona of the horticultural freakazoid, check out Decorno’s somewhat-hysterical post (I say “somewhat”…because it’s not that funny to me anymore) on the wild weed. At the time I first read the wisteria post, ours was just starting to get little, happy leaves on its barren winter branches. And since this is our first year in the house, I had no reason to believe our harmless green friend would be anything like the unruly monsters described so vividly by others.


We hacked it back again this weekend so we’ll see what happens. (I guess it will be our new weekend routine for the next several months.) It does provide a nice natural shade, and we’ve actually had folks walk by and compliment it. Knock on wood, we don’t have the wasp or rat infestations that Decorno’s commentators have experienced (yup; you read correctly: wasps AND rats). But I think we might have to start pouring a third margarita for our uninvited guest.


Courtney said...

but first can we discuss how perfectly GORGEOUS the bones of your front porch are...covered with wisteria or not? Oh my word, I just about drooled all over my keyboard. Btw, it did not get past me that I've been tagged by you...am working on a response...will post within the next couple of days. :-)

diana @ please sir said...

I agree with Courtney! Lovely with or without the wisteria!

Laura @ Shorehouse Chic. said...

Aw....thanks, ladies! {blush}

It's kind of got a LOT going on...different wood patterns in all different directions. We're not crazy about the "boxy" designs on the porch surround, but I think (hope!) it will come together. (New rocking chairs this weekend!)We hosted our first little dinner soiree out there Saturday and it was totally fun.

London Calling said...

Dining alfresco! Love it.

Laura @ Shorehouse Chic. said...

London Calling - I *love* your new blog header!! I'm itching to get PVE to "immortalize" shorehouse chic (if I can tame the wild beast that's taken over!). Thanks for hopping over!

Hooked on Houses said...

Oh, my gosh, I had no idea wisteria could eat a house--or harbor unwanted fugitives like wasps and rats! We did plant a honeysuckle bush next to our deck once and it took over much in the same fashion and had to be hacked away at.

Love your porch. I hope you can rescue it from the out-of-control vines! -Julia ;-)

Laura @ Shorehouse Chic. said...

I'm no expert, but I think wisteria could take honeysuckle in a street fight. :-) BUT...I have seen honeysuckle in action and with the proper training staff there's no telling what it's capable of.